amberisntacrayon:

I was at the mall today and overheard this dude talking to two lesbian chicks. I hear him ask, “So which one of you is the guy in your relationship?” And the one girl looks into her pants and says, “It’s not me. How bout you? Are you hiding a dick in there?” Then her girlfriend looks in her pants and says, “Nope, I’m not.” Then the first chick looks at the dude and says, “Hmmm, guess that’s why we are lesbians.” And then I lost my shit.

theonewhosawitall:

emilylouiserichardson:

The last picture is the face of fear.

no that last picture is him wondering if he had a kid without knowing it

(Source: averagebritishteenager)

frnkoreo:

let’s play ‘how many different versions of that tag do i have to blacklist for it to be off my dash?’

renfamous:

British Kitchen Nightmares: “The risotto is overcooked and your restaurant needs new lighting.”

American Kitchen Nightmares: “YOUR STAFF DOES DRUGS ON THE CLOCK, YOUR FAMILY THINKS YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE AND THERE’S A LIVE RAT IN MY FOOD.”

(Source: uncuts)

lovesexdevotion:

That was so beautiful

lovesexdevotion:

That was so beautiful

(Source: johto-jordan)

pir8crabs:

Well. I.
Hm.
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pir8crabs:

Well. I.

Hm.

hobbitofthemotherfuckinshire:

Remember there was almost another twilight book but someone leaked it so Stephanie Meyer refused to finish and I’m 98% sure it was Robert Pattinson and god bless him

thenakedwoman:

It’s been over 36 hours since the world was supposed to end.  

My body is tired.

But I will dance on, as it has been prophesied by the great one.

image

(Source: kit-harington)

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